Hello and Goodbye (for now)

Hello everybody

I am back! After a long and painful 3 weeks, we are in our new house, half-unpacked and nearly settled in. There are many more things that need doing to this old house, but we’ve made progress in making it ours.

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A cup of tea and a slice of cake in bed

Little E has been adjusting to the house impeccably. Sleeping on his big boy bed from night 1 (with a lot of time spent on the floor by the door as well). He loves his “chikkin”, calling out to them every minute he’s outside. He is his grandfather’s clone when it comes to loving the outdoors, preferring being out than in. I think we have made the right decision on this house in that respect :)

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My silly monkey ♡

Mr E is the sole person responsible for the house renovation, working relentlessly, even after a whole day at work. I’m sure he is now starting to question why did we not pay someone to do them instead. My poor love :)

Me? I am still working on myself. There has been a lot of soul searching amidst the move and renovation. This brings me to the purpose of this post.

With recent life events, I will not have the same amount of time to write much in the near future. I would like to thank every each one of you for coming in my journey thus far. Motherhood had certainly been a tough personal ride for me. Painful childhood memories brought forward a lot of questions that will probably never be answered, affecting my confidence in myself to be the kind of mother I wish to be. I am still working on them :) One day, when I am brave and ready, perhaps I will share some of those questions with you.

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Enjoying his birthday ice cream: Happy 2nd Birthday, my love. You are my greatest achievement in life so far.

Again, thank you for making me feel like I am not alone. Hopefully I will get more me-time sometime soon as blogging had been something I enjoyed.

I am going to leave you with a lesson learnt from last week:

A good role model is one who is perfectly imperfect. One who came up tops after a rocky climb. One who persevered and remained strong, despite life’s troubles. A good role model is never perfect.

Good bye for now. I wish you very happy days to come :)

Painted fingers

Apologies for the lack of updates. We’ve been busy renovating the new house as we’re on a tight (self-imposed) deadline.

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The state of my fingers right now

When we’re all settled, I will post one of my realisations that came to me while I was painting the wall (painting is quite relaxing).

Hint: I am not a victim, but a survivor.

On an entirely different note, these two things reminded me how loved I am (and Little E)..

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A surprise chocolate gift from the husband and a surprise mail from my inlaws to the little one (his first postcard!). I love knowing that he is loved.

Have a blessed week ahead, friends!

Layers of protection

I realise I have not written about who I am grateful for the past couple of weeks. It’s not that I had no one in mind, it’s more the fact that I couldn’t find the words to describe the extent of my gratitude.

Luckily, my special weekly friend said it perfectly for me.

“Despite everything that you are going through, you are incredibly lucky that you have all these loving and supportive people who make up layers of protection in your life.”

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People who gave me their time and ears to listen, who lend/refer me books, who shared coffee/dessert with me, and many others I don't have photos for.

Indeed, I am lucky. With these people around me, I am safe from those who tries to hurt me. Because of these people, I am 85% back to my old self! :)

Who makes up your layers of protection in life?

Ps. If you know someone who is going through a rough patch, lending an ear and a tight hug are all they need :) when the world seems to cave in and you feel trapped and alone, a non-judgemental support is like a lifeline getting you out of the darkness. A problem shared is a problem halved. We all have the power to help :)

Biscuits

I don’t know what these little biscuits are called. I grew up eating these as snacks, though weirdly, I remember not liking the icing bits. My fav combo was two biscuits 1 icing. Turns out it is still the case today!

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For some strange reason, I get incredibly happy when I can provide the same experience (food or things) that I had growing up to Little E. Like giving him some of these biscuits for snacks yesterday = happy me lol

What is your favourite childhood snacks? Can you get them still?

PS. Does anyone know what these are called?

Balance

Sit yourself in a food court or any bench at a shopping centre and you’re bound to see badly-dressed people. Mismatched outfit, ill-fitting clothes, stained, ripped, whatever is your definition of “badly-dressed”.

I am not a fashionista, I don’t know anything about fashion. My style is pretty weird and not many get it. For me, the more colours/patterns in one outfit, the weirdest the outfit, the better. I am the last person who should judge. I also understand that clothes are used to express who you are. I know all this.

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However, I just cannot help but judge when I see a teenage girl wearing handkerchiefs for clothes. An outfit so skimpy, she might as well be naked. I judge some more when these handkerchiefs are obviously two, three sizes too small. Watching short shorts getting eaten with each step is really not that attractive. Surely?

I mean, I am all for wearing whatever you like. Embrace your body, your skin, whatever size it comes in. Love yourself, express yourself as how you see fit. Etc etc.

So how do you find that balance?

I ask you this because having a daughter scare the living daylight out of me, and there is a possibility that I might have one one day, and I obviously want to raise a balanced, confident woman. No matter what size she is, or what clothes she wears.

But I really cannot see myself letting my daughter go out wearing these so-called clothes, when it doesn’t fit properly and/or super skimpy. I also know that whatever I say, spoken as her mum, will most likely be taken badly. Urgh. Girls are so scary.

How do I find that balance???